This week in The Tentacle

This week in The Tentacle

Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/q2xqd

http://www.thetentacle.com/ http://www.thetentacle.com/author.cfm?MyAuthor=41

Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A Fallen Hero Comes Home….
Kevin E. Dayhoff
As I surveyed the huge display of American flags and the mass of community that showed-up at the Union Bridge fire hall on Monday morning to pay their final respects to Marine Staff Sergeant Charles Isaac Cartwright; I could not help but think of the famous quote: “Where do we get such men?”

Different Country, Same Elections
Tom McLaughlin
Kuching, Malaysia – He who can stuff the most ballot boxes wins the election. I really can’t understand why the Western world cannot accept this obvious concept of democracy.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The First Amendment: Again
Roy Meachum
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Monday, November 16, 2009
Just Dithering About College
Steven R. Berryman
A quick overnight out toward Maryland’s Eastern Shore over the past weekend took yours truly and my oldest son Paul to Salisbury University for a pre-admissions visit.

Putting His Right Foot Forward
Michael Kurtianyk
I must say that I am impressed with the caliber of Mayor-Elect Randy McClement’s transition team. Beginning with Dale Driscoll, whom I admire greatly, and Alderman-Elect Karen Lewis Young, who will be co-chair with Mr. Driscoll.

Friday, November 13, 2009
Three Mass Murders
Roy Meachum
Before history dawned, tribes killed killers for revenge. Has mankind abandoned the “eye for an eye” mentality? We offer three current examples, including Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan.

A Job Well Done…
Joe Charlebois
The demonization of the Frederick County Sheriff’s office continues. The latest attempt to derail the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Agency’s 287(g) program has reached the top steps of the federal courthouse in Greenbelt, Maryland.

The Path Not Taken…
Derek Shackelford
Thomas “Tip” O’Neill, former Speaker of the House of Representatives, once coined the phrase, “All politics is local.” This can be interpreted to mean politicians should be able to understand their local constituents and the policies that affect them the most – the local political issues.

Thursday, November 12, 2009
Fulfill the Promises or Face Consequences
Tony Soltero
There's a lot of anger out there. It's been out there for several years, and every year Americans take the occasion of elections to express this anger.

Helping the Bad Guys Succeed
Patricia A. Kelly
I’m sitting at my computer wearing a pendant that reads, in Arabic, “There is no God but God”. I‘m not a Muslim. I’m wearing it in sympathy for the many innocent Muslims who will suffer more hatred as a result of the Fort Hood killings by Major Nidal Malik Hasan.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Stop with the Political Correctness…
Kevin E. Dayhoff
As Americans look forward to honoring our nation’s veterans today; we do so with heavy hearts in the wake of the senseless and cowardly murder of a dozen soldiers and one civilian at the Fort Hood (TX) Soldier Readiness Processing Center last Thursday.

Tom Goes Spark’in – Part 2
Tom McLaughlin
Kuching, Malaysia – I decided that I was tired of living, sleeping and traveling alone. I am ready to find a wife and begin a new marriage after five years of bachelorhood. I have met many ladies here in Malaysia and have been courting a 42-year-old Malay girl. (see last weeks column).

Tuesday, November 10, 2009
“Berlin bleibt doch Berlin”
Roy Meachum
That’s how Marlene Dietrich sang it. “Berlin remains Berlin after all” may be the closest translation I can make in English. I lived there years before the Wall went up; the 20th anniversary of its fall was celebrated around the world yesterday, setting off memories in me.

Math Anxiety: Causes and Cures
Nick Diaz
Test anxiety is a common problem for many students, regardless of level – middle, high, or college. At the college level, this is an especially difficult problem for those who are in “developmental” courses. Unfortunately, it is also common to experience test anxiety only in math, and not in other courses.

Monday, November 9, 2009
Various and Sundry…around the horn
Steven R. Berryman
Last week’s column went out on The Tentacle at over 1,400 words and I swore to do better this week. To wit, I offer you these nicely abbreviated sundry items:

Extend the Credit; Curb the Fraud
Michael Kurtianyk
Last Friday, President Barack Obama signed a bill extending the first-time homebuyer tax credit through April 30, 2010. Though controversial (more on this later), overall, it’s a positive step to improve our economy.

REVIEW: Michael Jackson, I Never Knew You
Roy Meachum
It was a surprise. Young people were walking around the local movie theatres with pasteboard and plastic festooning their wrists. A guy when asked where he was going responded: “The Michael Jackson movie.”

20091118 sdosm This week in The Tentacle Dayhoff Media The Tentacle, Military Fallen Hero Cartwright C I, Military Marines, Politically Correct

http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/2009/11/this-week-in-tentacle_18.html http://tinyurl.com/y98st5s

This week in The Tentacle http://tinyurl.com/y98st5s

[20091117 eyemelt] Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/q2xqd

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.westgov.net/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

*****

Westminster Maryland Online http://www.westminstermarylandonline.net/ http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/

My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/

Local University to ban eating ice cream on campus

A leading “Local University” will be an ice cream-free campus, according to recent widely circulated media reports. (Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/plzlw )

November 14, 2009 by Kant BeTrue New Bedford Herald http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq

The policy was announced last Wednesday by university officials as they sipped bottled water and munched on simulated fiber-bars, Manhattan style fish assholes and giant curried water bugs. (Click here for a larger image of the “Red Curry Giant Water Bugs: http://twitpic.com/plzzd )

University officials expressed pride at becoming “Maryland's first four-year college to ban an activity once as commonplace as lounging on the quad,” according to one local newspaper.

The sloth-like “lounging in the quad” is also under consideration to be banned. “We want a healthy – and all-conforming campus, that is obedient and health-conscious,” said officials.

“The reason for the policy, which goes into effect in August, is simple, administrators said: They want to reduce health risks from (eating ice cream) and secondhand exposure to (obese students.”)

"I don't try to guide people in how they live their lives, but I am going to protect the campus so it's clean and pleasant for as many people as possible," said the Local University President, Dr. Knowles Jerry-Ben, known affectionately on campus as “Dr. Kno,” who cited a study by The Center for Science in the Public Interest.

Eating ice cream is decadent, indulgent, and delicious, however, the consumer watchdog group is warning many ice cream treats are “coronaries in cones.” Many top brands contain huge amounts of calories and saturated fats said CSPI.

According to one publication, which reported upon the study, “the researchers were astounded at the calories and saturated fat content in a single cone of many products sold by companies like Baskin-Robbins, Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Dazs.”

Local University has concurrently announced that all products manufactured by Baskin-Robbins, Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Dazs are not only banned on campus, but also prohibited within a ten-mile radius of the university campus.

Also, all local rallies and celebrations of National Ice Cream Day, usually held every year on July 15, are also now banned. Defiant demonstrators will be dealt with sternly, warned one official as he manically munched on the cardboard wrapper of a simulated fiber-bar.

When asked to comment on a Frederick News-Post article from 2007 that noted “In 1984, President Reagan designated National Ice Cream Day and declared July to be National Ice Cream Month,” one university official belched that President Ronald Reagan and any reference to the former president or his words or “utterances” is now deemed “hate-speech” and also banned on campus.

The news account had cited that “Reagan recognized ice cream as a fun and nutritious food enjoyed by 90 percent of the nation's population, according to the website for the International Dairy Foods Association.

One university official reminded the audience that the International Dairy Foods Association – the IDFA - is now on the Obama administration’s terrorist watch list for propagandizing that “The average amount of ice cream consumed in the United States on any given day in July is 5.3 million gallons.”

The inquiring reporter was immediately – and forcibly - removed from the news conference in handcuffs for asking questions considered seditious in tenor and rebellious in nature.

As the reporter, B. P. Ward of the Potomac Publishing Co., was dragged from the room, he shouted, “George Washington spent $200 on ice cream in the summer of 1790 – that’s a lot of money for back then.”

To which several university officials responded that any reference to President Washington is also seditious… and now banned.

Meanwhile, a published account noted that “Everyone knows that ice cream isn’t a health food, acknowledges the U.S.-based food sleuths famed for blowing the whistle on movie theatre popcorn and MSG in Chinese takeout,” which are also already banned from the campus.

The published account on the perils of ice cream noted, “A CSPI study released Wednesday found a regular scoop of premium ice cream provides 250 to 350 calories and half a day's worth of artery clogging saturated fat.

“‘That's twice what you'd get in a supermarket ice cream like Bryers,’ nutritionist Jayne Hurley told a Washington press conference.

“It can get worse. The food police say a large vanilla shake from Baskin-Robbins has more than 1,000 calories and 32 grams of saturated fat. That's like eating three McDonald's Quarter Pounders.”

All McDonald’s products have been banned from the university campus for some time, noted university officials.

“Hurley even had a warning about empty cones.

“‘This empty chocolate dipped waffle cone from Ben & Jerry's is the equivalent to a half pound rack of baby backribs…”

Waffles, baby backribs and all meat are also banned from the campus, university officials said with noticeable pride, while spitting-out giant water bug shells.

(Click here for a larger image of the Manhattan style fish: http://twitpic.com/pm08r )

Recently ABC News Medical Unit reported that “While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consistently report that meat is the number one cause of foodborne illness, they are not the only foods to be wary of.

“A new report from the Center for Science in the Public Interest found that a number of food poisoning cases are caused by some unexpected foods, including leafy greens, potatoes, and ice cream.”

Local University officials said that a ban on leafy greens and potatoes is also under consideration, which cited that, the “CSPI reported that leafy greens, including spinach, lettuce, and cabbage, were responsible for 363 outbreaks between 1990 and 2006 and caused 13,568 cases of illness.”

Eating hamburgers and all meat products, waffles, ice cream, popcorn, and Chinese food is “already banned in campus buildings at (Local University,) but under the new rules, it will be off-limits on the grounds: on sidewalks, in garages and parking lots, and even outside the bar … at the local bistro.”

Local University “joins a rapidly growing list of U.S. colleges - at least 365, according to the (American Say No to Ice Cream Rights Foundation) - that have banned (eating ice cream) on campus.”

According to a local publication: “Last year, Montgomery College became the first Maryland institution of higher education to take the leap. Harford, Frederick, and Carroll community colleges have followed suit. Pennsylvania's university system has banned (eating ice cream) on all of its campuses.”

Dr. Kno “said a survey found that a very small percentage of students and faculty (eat ice cream) and that those who do, (eat ice cream) less frequently than they did in the past. The policy encountered some opposition from student leaders.”

However, all opposition, dialogue, and discussion of university policies have long been banned on campus, following recent successful attempts at banning any opposition to the Ruling Party, on both the state and national level.

Some students “wondered if the university will be able to enforce the rule, noting that a current ban on (eating ice cream) within 30 feet of school buildings is only loosely followed.”

Directing their attention to the 30-foot rule, university officials deny that students have been beaten for violating the rules; however, a small number of students were imprisoned last year for eating ice cream.

University officials, speaking on the condition of animosity, said, that the arrests and incarcerations will continue until the mood and moral of the campus improves and conformity abounds.

“Students and staff members who violate the rules will face fines and sanctions. Visitors who” eat ice cream “may be barred from future access to the 328-acre campus,” and sent to a fat-farm for re-education…

“Some students said the ban on (ice cream) will improve campus.”

“By not having eating ice cream on campus, kids will stop eating ice cream,” said a senior, “can world peace be too far away as a result?”

-30 ½ -

Kant Betrue, a Carthaginian with a Doctorate in Modern Anxiety and a minor in ennui; whose family settled in Westminster after the Third Punic War, has been with the New Bedford Herald since the 1960s (he can’t remember exactly when in the 1960s…). A Pulverized Prize winner for journalism, he writes about issues ranging from the international syntactic semiotic economics to avatars of hyper-theoretical exploding toilets.

~~~~~

Colleges Universities, Colleges Universities Campus Politics, Dayhoff Art, Dayhoff literature of the absurd, Food, Humor, Medicine Health tobacco smoking, Politically Correct, This is nuts

http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/2009/11/local-university-to-ban-eating-ice.html http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq

[20091006 icecream_poison] http://twitpic.com/plzlw
[20080224_waterbugredcurry] http://twitpic.com/plzzd
[20080224_fishassholes] http://twitpic.com/pm08r

Local University to ban eating ice cream on campus #art #PC http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/plzlw

Click here for a larger image of poison-labeled ice cream art: http://twitpic.com/plzlw

Red curried giant water bugs at university to ban eating ice cream on campus http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/plzzd

Click here for a larger image of the “Red Curry Giant Water Bugs: http://twitpic.com/plzzd

Manhattan style fish %#&holes at university to ban eating ice cream on campus http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/pm08r

Click here for a larger image of the Manhattan style fish: http://twitpic.com/pm08r

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.westgov.net/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

*****

Westminster Maryland Online http://www.westminstermarylandonline.net/ http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/

My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/