The arrival of the spacecraft in Westminster

“The arrival of the spacecraft behind Willis Street in Westminster” by Kevin Dayhoff November 25, 2009

Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/qzb9f or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/257974600/was-it-an-attack-by-cylons-or-perhaps-it-was-an

It was the night before Thanksgiving in 2009 when it happened.

When the spacecraft first landed at the old Westminster Playground; no one, at first, quite knew what to do…

Crickey, folks were flummoxed.

This picture was captured by happenstance and shows homes along the otherwise quiet, tree-lined, and bucolic Willis Street in Westminster, to be silhouetted by the bright landing lights of the craft.

Was it an attack by Cylons? Or perhaps it was an invasion of intergalactic Velociraptors

Oh no…

Wait a minute. It’s. It’s. Holy @!@$%^$$%...

We’ve suspected all along that “they” are among us.

Various folks have had dreams of android cattle. Could this be the beginning of the attack of the chrome toasters?

Persons around town have appeared to have siren Cylon tendencies, in which it has been suspected that a Six copy has been downloaded into their bodies.

They are seductive and they look the part and have the correct vocabulary, but there is no there – there and the results are hollow.

They were first suspected to have landed sometime in May 2005. Some do a great job with press releases.

It was a sensational story but only maintained a fugacious claim on the public's attention; as if it happened on a pair of fast chucks.

[20091125 Willis St arrival] Dayhoff Daily Photoblog, Dayhoff literature of the absurd, Dayhoff photos, Dayhoff photos Westminster, Politics Moonbat(s)

http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/2009/11/arrival-of-spacecraft-in-westminster.html http://tinyurl.com/yln46do

Was it an attack by Cylons? Or perhaps it was an invasion of intergalactic Velociraptors http://tinyurl.com/yln46do http://twitpic.com/qzb9f http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/257974600/was-it-an-attack-by-cylons-or-perhaps-it-was-an

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.westgov.net/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

*****

Westminster Maryland Online http://www.westminstermarylandonline.net/ http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/

My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/

Local University to ban eating ice cream on campus

A leading “Local University” will be an ice cream-free campus, according to recent widely circulated media reports. (Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/plzlw )

November 14, 2009 by Kant BeTrue New Bedford Herald http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq

The policy was announced last Wednesday by university officials as they sipped bottled water and munched on simulated fiber-bars, Manhattan style fish assholes and giant curried water bugs. (Click here for a larger image of the “Red Curry Giant Water Bugs: http://twitpic.com/plzzd )

University officials expressed pride at becoming “Maryland's first four-year college to ban an activity once as commonplace as lounging on the quad,” according to one local newspaper.

The sloth-like “lounging in the quad” is also under consideration to be banned. “We want a healthy – and all-conforming campus, that is obedient and health-conscious,” said officials.

“The reason for the policy, which goes into effect in August, is simple, administrators said: They want to reduce health risks from (eating ice cream) and secondhand exposure to (obese students.”)

"I don't try to guide people in how they live their lives, but I am going to protect the campus so it's clean and pleasant for as many people as possible," said the Local University President, Dr. Knowles Jerry-Ben, known affectionately on campus as “Dr. Kno,” who cited a study by The Center for Science in the Public Interest.

Eating ice cream is decadent, indulgent, and delicious, however, the consumer watchdog group is warning many ice cream treats are “coronaries in cones.” Many top brands contain huge amounts of calories and saturated fats said CSPI.

According to one publication, which reported upon the study, “the researchers were astounded at the calories and saturated fat content in a single cone of many products sold by companies like Baskin-Robbins, Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Dazs.”

Local University has concurrently announced that all products manufactured by Baskin-Robbins, Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Dazs are not only banned on campus, but also prohibited within a ten-mile radius of the university campus.

Also, all local rallies and celebrations of National Ice Cream Day, usually held every year on July 15, are also now banned. Defiant demonstrators will be dealt with sternly, warned one official as he manically munched on the cardboard wrapper of a simulated fiber-bar.

When asked to comment on a Frederick News-Post article from 2007 that noted “In 1984, President Reagan designated National Ice Cream Day and declared July to be National Ice Cream Month,” one university official belched that President Ronald Reagan and any reference to the former president or his words or “utterances” is now deemed “hate-speech” and also banned on campus.

The news account had cited that “Reagan recognized ice cream as a fun and nutritious food enjoyed by 90 percent of the nation's population, according to the website for the International Dairy Foods Association.

One university official reminded the audience that the International Dairy Foods Association – the IDFA - is now on the Obama administration’s terrorist watch list for propagandizing that “The average amount of ice cream consumed in the United States on any given day in July is 5.3 million gallons.”

The inquiring reporter was immediately – and forcibly - removed from the news conference in handcuffs for asking questions considered seditious in tenor and rebellious in nature.

As the reporter, B. P. Ward of the Potomac Publishing Co., was dragged from the room, he shouted, “George Washington spent $200 on ice cream in the summer of 1790 – that’s a lot of money for back then.”

To which several university officials responded that any reference to President Washington is also seditious… and now banned.

Meanwhile, a published account noted that “Everyone knows that ice cream isn’t a health food, acknowledges the U.S.-based food sleuths famed for blowing the whistle on movie theatre popcorn and MSG in Chinese takeout,” which are also already banned from the campus.

The published account on the perils of ice cream noted, “A CSPI study released Wednesday found a regular scoop of premium ice cream provides 250 to 350 calories and half a day's worth of artery clogging saturated fat.

“‘That's twice what you'd get in a supermarket ice cream like Bryers,’ nutritionist Jayne Hurley told a Washington press conference.

“It can get worse. The food police say a large vanilla shake from Baskin-Robbins has more than 1,000 calories and 32 grams of saturated fat. That's like eating three McDonald's Quarter Pounders.”

All McDonald’s products have been banned from the university campus for some time, noted university officials.

“Hurley even had a warning about empty cones.

“‘This empty chocolate dipped waffle cone from Ben & Jerry's is the equivalent to a half pound rack of baby backribs…”

Waffles, baby backribs and all meat are also banned from the campus, university officials said with noticeable pride, while spitting-out giant water bug shells.

(Click here for a larger image of the Manhattan style fish: http://twitpic.com/pm08r )

Recently ABC News Medical Unit reported that “While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention consistently report that meat is the number one cause of foodborne illness, they are not the only foods to be wary of.

“A new report from the Center for Science in the Public Interest found that a number of food poisoning cases are caused by some unexpected foods, including leafy greens, potatoes, and ice cream.”

Local University officials said that a ban on leafy greens and potatoes is also under consideration, which cited that, the “CSPI reported that leafy greens, including spinach, lettuce, and cabbage, were responsible for 363 outbreaks between 1990 and 2006 and caused 13,568 cases of illness.”

Eating hamburgers and all meat products, waffles, ice cream, popcorn, and Chinese food is “already banned in campus buildings at (Local University,) but under the new rules, it will be off-limits on the grounds: on sidewalks, in garages and parking lots, and even outside the bar … at the local bistro.”

Local University “joins a rapidly growing list of U.S. colleges - at least 365, according to the (American Say No to Ice Cream Rights Foundation) - that have banned (eating ice cream) on campus.”

According to a local publication: “Last year, Montgomery College became the first Maryland institution of higher education to take the leap. Harford, Frederick, and Carroll community colleges have followed suit. Pennsylvania's university system has banned (eating ice cream) on all of its campuses.”

Dr. Kno “said a survey found that a very small percentage of students and faculty (eat ice cream) and that those who do, (eat ice cream) less frequently than they did in the past. The policy encountered some opposition from student leaders.”

However, all opposition, dialogue, and discussion of university policies have long been banned on campus, following recent successful attempts at banning any opposition to the Ruling Party, on both the state and national level.

Some students “wondered if the university will be able to enforce the rule, noting that a current ban on (eating ice cream) within 30 feet of school buildings is only loosely followed.”

Directing their attention to the 30-foot rule, university officials deny that students have been beaten for violating the rules; however, a small number of students were imprisoned last year for eating ice cream.

University officials, speaking on the condition of animosity, said, that the arrests and incarcerations will continue until the mood and moral of the campus improves and conformity abounds.

“Students and staff members who violate the rules will face fines and sanctions. Visitors who” eat ice cream “may be barred from future access to the 328-acre campus,” and sent to a fat-farm for re-education…

“Some students said the ban on (ice cream) will improve campus.”

“By not having eating ice cream on campus, kids will stop eating ice cream,” said a senior, “can world peace be too far away as a result?”

-30 ½ -

Kant Betrue, a Carthaginian with a Doctorate in Modern Anxiety and a minor in ennui; whose family settled in Westminster after the Third Punic War, has been with the New Bedford Herald since the 1960s (he can’t remember exactly when in the 1960s…). A Pulverized Prize winner for journalism, he writes about issues ranging from the international syntactic semiotic economics to avatars of hyper-theoretical exploding toilets.

~~~~~

Colleges Universities, Colleges Universities Campus Politics, Dayhoff Art, Dayhoff literature of the absurd, Food, Humor, Medicine Health tobacco smoking, Politically Correct, This is nuts

http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/2009/11/local-university-to-ban-eating-ice.html http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq

[20091006 icecream_poison] http://twitpic.com/plzlw
[20080224_waterbugredcurry] http://twitpic.com/plzzd
[20080224_fishassholes] http://twitpic.com/pm08r

Local University to ban eating ice cream on campus #art #PC http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/plzlw

Click here for a larger image of poison-labeled ice cream art: http://twitpic.com/plzlw

Red curried giant water bugs at university to ban eating ice cream on campus http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/plzzd

Click here for a larger image of the “Red Curry Giant Water Bugs: http://twitpic.com/plzzd

Manhattan style fish %#&holes at university to ban eating ice cream on campus http://tinyurl.com/yck8ubq http://twitpic.com/pm08r

Click here for a larger image of the Manhattan style fish: http://twitpic.com/pm08r

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.westgov.net/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

*****

Westminster Maryland Online http://www.westminstermarylandonline.net/ http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/

My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/

The Journalist and the snallygaster

Journalist may have been startled by snallygaster at city meeting - The snallygasters of Westminster’s Emerald Hill

The Westminster city council report by Kevin Dayhoff October 26, 2009 http://tinyurl.com/yhnjnb6

Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/n4dt9 or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224678669/journalist-may-have-been-startled-by-snallygaster

Unforeseen drama erupted last Monday night, on October 26, 2009, just days before Halloween; as the bright light of a snallygaster suddenly shone upon Carroll County Times writer Bryan Schutt.

All the while, Mr. Schutt kept a steady and wary eye on the “witch” seated directly in front of him while he covered the meeting of the Westminster mayor and Common Council well into the dark of the night.

Outside, the winds howled, dogs barked and the moon winked from behind passing dark clouds as the august common council body deliberated passionately upon the various imperatives of the small principality in the shining white castle on Emerald Hill – Westminster City Hall.

In the background, calm and oblivious to the sudden appearance of the snallygaster, were Westminster volunteer fire department president Bill Brehm and Westminster director of public works Rev. Jeff Glass, who never skipped a beat as he waxed poetically and eloquently about the subtle nuances and ecstasies of the Westminster water meter replacement installation initiative...

Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/n4k7r or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224740261/westminster-director-of-public-works-rev-jeff

As Rev. Glass’ voice rose in quivered and fevered praise of being stimulated by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009; Mr. Schutt stoically continued with his hypergraphic note taking and Dr. Pam Zappardino surveyed the room the room adorned with her capital ornamentation and the studied pique of Elizabethan puritan curiosity and bemusement.

One wondered if Dr. Zappardino’s capital ornamentation was constructed of velvet, taffeta, or the wool of a cottager’s hand. One could only wonder if she were acting-out on strict obedience to Elizabethan sensibilities or maybe the Westminster Common Council had recently reenacted, in closed session, the Westminster Sumptuary Laws which dictated the styles of hats for dignified women of class and stature.

If you will recall it was during the years between 1968 and 1974 in Westminster – err, strike that - 1568 and 1574 that “all Citizens wives in generall were constrayned to weare white knit Caps of woolen yarne, unlesse their husbands were good value in the Queenes booke, or could prove themselves Gentlemen by descent.”

The curiosity of the hat was only one of the many subplots and oblique soliloquies that played out in the audience as Rev. Glass reported that he was infused with the idea of receiving the wireless signals of the new water meters with their variable attenuators and adjustable phase-shifters and that as a result he saw an apparition of Ben Franklin himself as he found himself awash in a sea of paperwork.

But wait; was that really a drop of sweat appearing on Mr. Schutt’s brow or was he simply moved by the shared spirit of the moment or the contemplation of actually being able to use a semi-colon in his news article?

Perhaps we’ll never know.

Moments later, the councilmembers gratefully accepted the bidding of Rev. Glass so that Westminster water meter reader officials may be turned-on as they stalked city neighborhoods in search of a sign or a wireless signal or perhaps even a glimpse of Mr. Franklin himself.

Over the years, paranormal apparitions and unusual occurrences have come to be accepted as de rigueur at Westminster council meetings.

Sudden chilly air, unaccounted brief gusts of winds, the odd clapping of hands, folks cackling to themselves as they clanked weaving utensils and others lapsing into the speaking in tongues are nothing unusual at the bi-monthly meetings of Emerald Hill.

Many have attributed such occurrences to the appearance of snallygasters…

For those who are not aware of snallygasters; in Carroll County Maryland, the belief in witches and supernatural spirits were part of the northern European-German culture brought into this area by its settlers.

For example, the word "snallygaster" doesn't seem to be used as much in recent years, but it comes from a combination of two German words: “schnell geiste,” meaning “quick spirit.”

Not to be confused with the “außenseiters” or “aus landers,” which have recently visited upon the city with their sea gull daze, wanting us to quit our redneck ways…?

At this point, please join Elton John, Bernie Taupin and the Greek chorus as we sing the honky cat blues: “When I look back boy I must have been green, Bopping in the country, fishing in a stream, Looking for an answer trying to find a sign, Until I saw your city lights honey I was blind.

“They said get back honky cat, Better get back to the woods, Well I quit those days and my redneck ways, And oh the change is gonna do me good…

“And all the folks back home well, said I was a fool, They said oh, believe in the Lord is the golden rule…

“They said stay at home boy, you gotta tend the farm, Living in the city boy, is going to break your heart, But how can you stay, when your heart says no, How can you stop when your feet say go…”

Anyway, where were we? Oh - for those of us who grew up in Carroll County, the “Schnell Gieste” or snallygasters were often responsible for the shivers that resulted from a sudden drop in the temperature or gusts of wind that closed doors and scattered papers.

Anyone who has spent time in Westminster’s city hall is well aware of the unaccounted-for footsteps on the stairs, apparitions in the windows, the eerie creaking of woodwork, the moans of sheer delight, and the groans of the ancient historic structure that has bore witness to the vagaries of the American Civil War, deaths of children during the Spanish Influenza outbreak in 1918; and contemporary personal character assassinations that accompany small-town politics.

This brings to mind a curious remark by Mr. Schutt as he was leaving City Hall that evening. For some background, as you may be aware, the unofficial symbol of Halloween, the jack-o'-lantern, has its origins in the carving of a turnip. Not as tasty, by the way, if you are making pie.

Although several hundred years ago pumpkins were quite smaller than they are today, colonials used a pumpkin because it was more easily available than turnips.

The practice of carving a frightening face and placing fire inside the pumpkin was to frighten away banshees or “schnell geistes” from the spirit world.

Mr. Schutt was apparently unfazed by the appearance of Mr. Schell Geiste and labored-on with his work, without flinching…

Although unconfirmed reports indicate that as Mr. Schutt left the council meeting, he quietly inquired as to where might be the best place to buy a carving pumpkin in Carroll County.

Hmmm. Maybe after all – he believes. Ask him. Inquiring minds want to know…

####

Okay, okay – OKAY - - I’ll write a different account for the newspaper. But my gosh I love it on this side of the note pad. Meanwhile stay in the shallow end of the pool.

Kevin Dayhoff October 26, 2009
~~~~
Photo captions:

The bright light of a snallygaster suddenly shone upon Carroll County Times writer Bryan Schutt and he kept a steady eye on the “witch” seated directly in front of him while covering the meeting of the Westminster mayor and Common Council on Monday night, October 26, 2009.

In the background, oblivious to the sudden appearance of the snallygaster, is Westminster volunteer fire department president Bill Brehm and Westminster director of public works Rev. Jeff Glass. Photo by Kevin Dayhoff October 26, 2009 [20091026 CowMCC Mtg (3)b] Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/n4dt9 or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224678669/journalist-may-have-been-startled-by-snallygaster

~~~~

Westminster director of public works Rev. Jeff Glass never skipped a beat as he waxed poetically and eloquently about the subtle nuances and ecstasies of the Westminster water meter replacement installation initiative at the Monday, October 26, 2009 meeting of the Westminster MD meeting of the Common Council.

As Rev. Glass’ voice rose in praise of being stimulated by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, Carroll County Times writer Schutt stoically continued with his hypergraphic note taking and Dr. Pam Zappardino studied the room adorned with her capital ornamentation... Photo by Kevin Dayhoff October 26, 2009 [20091026 CowMCC Mtg 4 5 6] Click here for a larger image: http://twitpic.com/n4k7r or here: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224740261/westminster-director-of-public-works-rev-jeff

20091026 sdosmked The Journalist and the snallygaster

Dayhoff literature of the absurd, Dayhoff writing essays, Journalists Schutt-Bryan Schutt, People Zappardino-Pam, Westminster Annual Halloween, Westminster Council Mtgs, Westminster PW Dir Jeff Glass, Annual Halloween, Dayhoff erratum reductio ad absurdum, Dayhoff writing essays people, Dayhoff writing essays politics, People Glass-Jeff, Westminster Council Meeting Notes

http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/2009/10/journalist-and-snallygaster.html http://tinyurl.com/yhnjnb6

Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff http://twitpic.com/n4dt9 and http://twitpic.com/n4k7r

http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/ http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224678669/journalist-may-have-been-startled-by-snallygaster and http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/post/224740261/westminster-director-of-public-works-rev-jeff

#art #writing #Halloween

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.kevindayhoff.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

*****

Westminster Maryland Online http://www.westminstermarylandonline.net/ http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/

My http://www.explorecarroll.com/ columns appear in the copy of the Baltimore Sunday Sun that is distributed in Carroll County: https://subscribe.baltsun.com/Circulation/

Westminster videos and Jeff’s giant lava lamp

Westminster videos and Jeff’s giant lava lamp

The Westminster mayor and common council meeting this evening was a lot of fun. It was upbeat, positive, and informative.

In this evening’s Westminster mayor and council meeting, city administrator Marge Wolf announced that the city has purchased 4 video cameras. Soon, various city employees will be trained, by the Community Media Center, to operate the cameras so that the city can get the word out better about all the great work the city is doing.

Of course it is a smart move on the part of the city and the effort is to be applauded.

After the meeting several of us were talking about my “Westminster News” playlist - http://tinyurl.com/lubncg - on my YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/user/kevindayhoff

In particular, “20071008 Jeff and Joe discover a giant lava lamp” http://bit.ly/MQoOd. Please enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0vV59u5c-E&feature=player_profilepage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0vV59u5c-E

http://www.youtube.com/user/kevindayhoff#play/user/686F580EC3B58588

20090713 sdosm Westminster videos and Jeffs giant lava lamp

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ Blip.fm: http://blip.fm/kevindayhoff_soundtrack Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.westgov.net/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/kevindayhoff Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1040426835 Kevin Dayhoff Banana Stems: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/

Kevin Dayhoff: http://www.westgov.net/ Westminster Maryland Online http://www.westminstermarylandonline.net/ http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/